Mistakes We All Make in Bed (And How to Avoid Them)

If you’re expecting to find particular a blow job technique or sex positions in this article, we’re sorry; all of those small details are completely based on personal preference.

Here instead we will talk about the larger, general ‘mistakes’ people make that turn enjoyable, fulfilling sexual experiences into ones that leave us wanting more.

 

1.Not Taking Control

Our sexual anatomies are varied (and wonderful), and no one knows exactly how they work like you do. Learn about your own three Ps of pleasure—pressure, pace and place—and don’t be too shy to guide your partner’s hands or be explicit in letting them know how they can change up any one of those elements.

2.Lacking Confidence

We’ve all got our own hang-up when it comes to sexual self-esteem or our own body image, but vocalizing them to your partner –especially when you’re trying to feel sexy – empowers the issue to distract yourself from how desirable you actually are to them. Generally speaking, your partner would not be in bed with you unless they found you irresistibly sexy as you are, so own that and enjoy yourself!

3.Not Letting Yourself Go

We can’t always help being distracted during sex, whether stressing about a project we’re working on at the office or wishing our dog would stop scratching at the bedroom door, but truly enjoying the sex your having means, well, focusing on the sex you’re having.

It can seem like a cruel practice in futility to try and turn your brain ‘off’ just by thinking it ‘turn off brain!’ so try this instead: think about each touch and sensation you’re feeling on your body and narrate them to yourself. Think ‘she just gave me shivers up my spine when she kissed my jaw’ or ‘I love the way hands are cupping my body.’

4.Giving the Silent Treatment

While loudly faking an orgasm can be reminiscent of particularly poorly acted porn, staying silent during sex could be equally as uninspiring.

Your light moans, groans and verbalized encouragement show your partner when what they’re doing is something you like, and your pleasure and enjoyment shouldn’t be something you keep from your partner. (This goes for the chronically-silent gentlemen as well)!